Our new baby is now two weeks old.  He is beautiful and gets more and more beautiful every day. Even when I have only gotten about 4 hours of sleep in 24 hours.  Even when my vagina is throbbing because the only way to calm our beautiful boy is to walk and talk.  Even when I am starving and dehydrated but I can't move because the little one is on my chest and if I move one inch he will wake up and scream.  Even when I have only left the apartment once in the last two weeks and that was to go to the Dentist.  Even with all of that....I still love him.  I am still amazed that he is mine and that he came out of me.  That I am a Mom and that he is my son.  In awe at every little face he makes, every little thing that comes out of every little orafice.  I actually like the smell of his pooh.  I can't help it.  Don't get me wrong though.  I am still scared.  I still worry all the time that I won't be able to help him or fix him when he needs me too.  Ahhh.  The life of a new Mom. Crazy.  Never thought it would happen to me. 

Owwwww!!!

I suppose that something so beautiful cannot come easy. I suppose that this is life's little way of saying "Take that, bitch." And so it is with having a baby. Yes he's the most gorgeous thing I've ever seen in my life. Yes he hurt my lover like all hell when he came out. Do we love him all the same? You bet. After all, he didn't create 17 hours of painful hell for his mommy on purpose did he? He was just along for the ride the same way she was. Only her ride was a little more excruciating. But one look into his big blue eyes sure makes it all okay. If only for a moment. Then the pain creeps back in...owwwwww.......